magic · Melanie Kristy · musings · Story

Do That Thing.


Do that thing.

Do that thing that makes you come alive. Find your passion and let it fuel you. Don’t lose sight of the world around you, the dreams you’ve always had. Don’t forget the friends who are soulmates, and the experiences that shape you. Let one weekend in a little city in Oklahoma change you. Let three brothers in a band make you.

Allow the thing you love to become you. Allow yourself to get lost in passion and forget who you might have been. Remember the teenager inside you, aching to come out. Learn everything you can about everything. Grow wings and fly.


Read the books that break you. Love the people even though it might hurt you. Be wild and free. Be alive and awake. Be aware. Create your bucket list and check off items. Add more things. Never finish that list. Sing the songs on repeat until they’ve memorized. Detail lives and experiences on your skin. Document your life in words and pictures.

Know what you believe in. Go after it. Jump far for it. Fight for your beliefs. Fight for yourself. Fight for everyone around you.
You’ve only got this one life. We aren’t immortal creatures. Live that one life.

Do that thing.

 

melanie kristy · musings · Uncategorized

March & The Individuality of Moments


Clearly my aim to write every day in March just didn’t happen.
I’m sitting here thinking about how it’s almost APRIL. Spring is here (Though the weather doesn’t quite know it yet), and we are all alive and the air is crisp and the clouds want to rain. I’m listening to Mayer Hawthorne in attempts to be familiar with some music that I will hear at the Hop Jam Festival in May.

I am trying to rediscover blogs. I deleted a bunch from my dusty old Feedly feed, and I’ve been intentional about opening the website and clicking through to actually read things. I’m looking for soul food in the form of words, aching for thoughts to seep right into me. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt words just come out of me. A long time. To the point where The Daily Grind, aka LIFE, just took over and I was left with all this time passing. It gets to a point, if you’re a creative soul, where you wake up and wonder: where did all the time go? What did I do with my waking hours? And, for me, if the answer consists solely of work and eat some food and attempt to be healthy, maybe see some friends, watch YouTube and Netflix  well then … I’m doing something wrong.


What is it that I’m doing wrong? I guess I mean, what could I be doing better, wiser, other? These late night feelings that something is missing, the anxiety over not doing enough or being enough aren’t new feelings. For three and a half years those feelings were clouded over with looming grad school papers and group projects. Then I started seeing someone, and who the hell needs to be doing something creatively when your heart is so bursting with love? That was my other. I didn’t need more.


But now I’ve graduated with a Master degree in Library and Information Science (I AM YOUR MASTER), and that relationship is no longer. So what am I left with? The empty nights where I’m watching YouTube, growing increasingly bored with the content and aching for something more.


More. More. More. And this is where blogging comes in. This is where I ask myself: What did you do with the girl who used to spin stories and love fiction characters and take walks that inspired entire word-created lives?

I’ll tell you now, I don’t know that answer.


In the past month I’ve watched life be sucked away. I’ve attended wakes, looked at bodies whose souls have left them, spend time in Church at a funeral service and cried a whole fucking lot. In this past month I’ve also seen Beauty and the Beast twice, booked plane tickets to Memphis, seen my friends more than usual, and bought an essential oil diffuser. I can’t seem to find my essential oils, though. I also pulled my back, ate tons of chocolate and started doing desk yoga in attempts to feel less stiff. I bought an aloe plant and started re-growing spring onions from the white ends that I cut off when making dinner. Life is in everything around us. It’s in these little details. It’s hard to imagine all this has happened (and so much more. Snow days. 70 degree weather. Many macarons consumed) just in one month. And yet at the same time I feel like March should be just beginning.


It’s all a blur. And if we (I) don’t stop to document and reflect and smell aloe plants and taste lip scrub then it’ll stay a blur. Something we (I) don’t remember for the individuality of moments.

Melanie Kristy · musings

Thing Don’t Happen The Way You Plan

Just after a declaration of my intentions to write every day in March, life happened and, of course it’s now the 17th and I haven’t posted anything since then. I’ve been slightly alive on my Instagram, and otherwise consuming instead of creating. I’ve also been talking a lot about the Perfectly Posh products that I love. I even have a Facebook page for the Posh Products, so please feel free to check it out.

I’m here to tell you that I’m loving Ed Sheeran’s new album, Divide. I can’t stop listening and singing along.

We had an almost blizzard the other day, and I’ve had some time off due to family things.

I’ve been watching the final season of Girls, and Switched At Bitch. I’ve been LOVING This Is Us, and also really enjoying Big Little Lies on HBO (Of course I read the book first and really enjoyed that as well).

The only book I can recommend right now is We Are Okay by Nina LaCour. Everything else I’ve been reading I’m just stuck in the middle of.

My current face mask of choice is I’m Turning Blueberry.

What are you currently loving?

x.

melanie kristy · musings · weight loss

State Of The Writer


It’s been a long winter. Technically, it’s still winter for twenty more days and even though it’s supposed to be back in the 30’s this weekend I’m still declaring winter over. That probably means I’ll be grumbly and cranky when I have to wear a winter jacket this weekend (it’s also possible that I’ll be cranky because I’m cold because I won’t be wearing said jacket, who knows!).

I wanted to take a moment to kind of address who I am and where I am and what I’m doing. Vague enough for you, right?

My favorite band has a full blown weekend festival every May, and they do this thing called “State of the Band” where they talk about what they want to do and what their plans are. I’m in the middle of settling into my plans to travel to Tulsa in May for this weekend, so that term is on my mind.

So here are a couple things:

I was seeing someone for almost all of last year. In the summer it got weird/ complicated/ not great, and in September it ended. For months after that I felt awkward and swollen and lost. I don’t handle heartbreak well at all. It tends to shake me up and spit me out into tiny pieces like my heart is made of paper and heartbreak makes me into recycled pulp. I am better now. Stronger. Moving on. I am single and wanting to be single.

There has been other heartbreak recently, but it’s more personal and I’ll leave that out.

Since last April I’ve worked full time at a library, and I’ve had lots of different responsibilities during my time there. I love it a lot. I’ve learned so much and met a lot of great people.

I keep having these moments where I think something to the effect of: I’m not sure what I’m doing with myself or my life. I think about how I feel unfulfilled in aspects of my life, I’m uninspired and unsure. Every time I have these moments, everything comes back to writing. And so that’s why I’m here. I have a goal to write intentionally for all of March, and to post here every single day. I want this to be the kick off to something, even if it’s just the growth of this lovely little neglected blog.

Last summer I started selling Perfectly Posh products. If you don’t already know, I’m a huge fan of bath and body products. Lush Cosmetics is one of my favorite stores. While I still love Lush with all my heart, Posh has wedged its way into my heart and I’ve found a lot of products that I love. I really like Posh’s products and their ethics. I’d love for you to check out their catalog.

In January I signed up for Weight Watchers, for the 110th time. I will post a lot about health and weight in here. I am a very body-positive person, and I struggle with putting the concepts of “weight loss” and “body positivity” together in the same space. The thing is, everyone is different. There’s nothing wrong with my body how it is, and there is nothing wrong with your body. In fact, I’m willing to bet you are beautiful. That being said, I personally am not happy where I am. I haven’t ever actually been happy. I love my body and I want it to be able to move and stay active. I want it to be able to protect me and remain healthy for me, and because of that I’ve joined Weight Watchers again for me. For my body. There’s nothing wrong with me for doing so, and there’s nothing wrong with you for not taking any sort of “diet” path.

I love you all, and I’m hoping to meet more bloggers and readers to please comment if you’re reading this. Comment if you’re blogging.

Spread joy.

x.
Melanie

 

musings · story

How to Lose Yourself

loseyourself

 

Are you lost? Do you want to be lost? How did you get here? The webs we weave are complicated, invisible sometimes and sticky. All you have to do is forget.

Take on too much, unimagine dreams, let bookshelves get dusty, forget that you blog, stop wondering what you’re characters are up to. You can also stop moving, spending too much time watching BookTube and cat videos online, think that everyone else’s blog/ videos/ projects/ efforts are good enough (better than you can do) so why even try? Let people have power over you, stay undone from a breakup, traces the lines back to where you made mistakes and wonder what lives you in alternate universes are up to right now, let things pile up, nap instead of meditate, eat too much sugar, forget to mail out letters, contemplate life for momentary seconds instead of hours, stay out of the sun, buy too many.

 

You can lose yourself by forgetting. By living a mundane life you lose yourself. You lose yourself when you start to forget who you wanted to be. When complacency seems like a good place to be.

 

Have you lose yourself? Come back later and I’ll show you the way back.

xo

Melanie

musings

Something about Sunday…

It’s Sunday today. I’m sitting behind my laptop and typing real words on it for the first time in what feels like forever. Lately I’ve been writing a lot of lists in the notebook / journal I carry around with me. The lists are similar, like words I tell myself to get myself to do things. Write. Breathe. Love. Live. I get tired of myself over and over again. I seem to be on an endless loop of the same thoughts. All of these thoughts include the avoidance of a keyboard and keys, actual real writing, and trying to numb myself to the yearning/ longing/ frustration/  emotion of life.

 

I have some news for you my dear readers. And I have news for myself. That emotion that I’m numbing myself from? (I mean, failing to numb but trying so hard I’ve definitely developed anxiety about all of the things).

That is life.

Life is the yearning, the longing and the wanting. It’s being content to want more, aching for something else. But what’s more than that is that life is making these things happen. Or, at least, taking steps in a general direction away from this restlessness.

Oh how restless I’ve grown.

So recently I deactivated faceboook. You can still find me on instagram and twitter, though and here. I’ll be here wandering the internet, creating a home for myself in words I’ve been unable to find. I “quit” my other blog, one which you may or may not have been familiar with. I needed a new start. Desperately. So badly that I had stopped writing at all. Nothing seemed worth it. I had allowed myself to believe that I have nothing to say. (And maybe some days I don’t).

So this is a new start, a place where I can write and create and be. And even though in that aspect (since this is the internet and all) I could have done all of those things on my other blog, as an overly active Facebook stalker, etc. I couldn’t. Which is why I’m here today.

Sundays are for selfies and any other thing I decide I want to say on Sundays (And really any other day). Please feel free to have a look around, we’ve only just begun. Share your blogs and your favorites and direct me toward links I must read. I’m ready to emerge again as a person who is doing something with that longing. So here I am.

Love you all,

Melanie