Uncategorized

Reaching for Comfort

Books, music, movies, and television shows are sources of comfort for me. So are scents. I enjoy rereading books that remind me of feelings, listening to music that brings me back to certain dates in time and smelling scents that can only belong to specific memories.

I especially enjoy rereading and watching when I need some sort of reminder, or something uplifting. I enjoy that feeling of reliving works of fiction that make me comfortable, and reinforce something deep inside me. It’s the things that will never get old I’m currently listening to Sarah Dessen’s Saint Anything because her books always bring me to  A Place. I don’t know what that place is, it’s that comfort place, the one that’s just steady and reliable. I reread Harry Potter for the same though. I’m watching Gilmore Girls again. I like the familiarity in characters that I adore and story lines that even though I’m familiar with I don’t always remember all the details and conversations. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books and movies bring me right there. Mix tapes (or Spotify playlists) of old favorites remind me of something. A lot of times that something is just a feeling, not something specific that I can name. It’s like I use those books and movies and songs to reinforce me, remind me about me. I don’t have a better way to put it, but I enjoy it. I like rereading. I like remembering. I enjoy living in nostalgia some days.

 

What are your old standbys?

weight loss

A Difficult Case With Carbohydrates

Last year for almost two months I did the ketogenic diet with my (then) boyfriend. He Lost 50+ pounds within months. I lost 13 in three weeks, stalled after that (did not lose for 4 weeks) and was always hungry. I read so many different things about why I might not be losing, and it came down to too many reasons. It complicated what I wanted to be a simple way to lose weight and get healthy. I could have been stalled because: I was eating dairy, too many calories, too much protein, not enough fat, too many carbs. Those are just a few of the reasons. It gave me a headache.

Since then I’ve tried ketogenic once after that, and it may have worked but in my circumstances I couldn’t get my head where I wanted to be.

Between the time that I started eating keto, and a month or so after I had blood work done and my A1C number went down .3 which is great! After keto, I gained a bit back, and mostly maintained. In January I joined Weight Watchers. I lost what I had gained back, so when I weighed in with my doctor last week I was only one pound over what I had been last year at my weigh in with the better A1C. I had blood work done. I was hoping that it stayed at the same, at least. I didn’t expect it to have gone lower. My number had risen again – back to where I was last year when I was almost twenty pounds heavier.

I’m not here to talk bad about Weight Watchers but I want to point out that your leader is just your leader. It was suggested to me that I eat more whole grains, and it’s always suggested that you didn’t get to the weight you are today from eating too much fruit. Fruit is 0 points. They want you to choose it over ice cream. Understandably so. But Weight Watchers leaders aren’t nutritionists. They don’t have a background that makes them understand how different macros can act in your body.

And while I will tell you I am also not a nutritionist, I have read so much about the way that food and nutrients work in your body that sometimes I just can’t agree with that Weight Watchers tells you. If you have blood sugar problems, eating fruit can exacerbate the issue. One banana has 29g of carbohydrates. That’s as much as a nutritionist will tell you to eat in one MEAL. So if you’re eating a banana with strawberries plus a sandwich and some popcorn for lunch, and innocent 13 Smart Point lunch is all sugar. And in some people that isn’t a problem.

But for me it is. The proof is in the blood work.

It’s frustrating. Thinking about food all the time is already frustrating. Then to add to it restricting what I eat to a healthier volume is frustrating (even though I know that it’s healthier). Then on top of that to start limiting carbohydrates? Difficult. But doable.

So I am taking the rest of the week, plus this weekend (mostly because I have plans that will make it difficult for me to have entire control of the food that is offered to me) to regroup and figure out exactly how to implement a lower carb Weight Watchers plan for me.

And as always, I will report back. Because I need to figure out something that works.

x.

Melanie

melanie kristy · musings · Uncategorized

March & The Individuality of Moments


Clearly my aim to write every day in March just didn’t happen.
I’m sitting here thinking about how it’s almost APRIL. Spring is here (Though the weather doesn’t quite know it yet), and we are all alive and the air is crisp and the clouds want to rain. I’m listening to Mayer Hawthorne in attempts to be familiar with some music that I will hear at the Hop Jam Festival in May.

I am trying to rediscover blogs. I deleted a bunch from my dusty old Feedly feed, and I’ve been intentional about opening the website and clicking through to actually read things. I’m looking for soul food in the form of words, aching for thoughts to seep right into me. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt words just come out of me. A long time. To the point where The Daily Grind, aka LIFE, just took over and I was left with all this time passing. It gets to a point, if you’re a creative soul, where you wake up and wonder: where did all the time go? What did I do with my waking hours? And, for me, if the answer consists solely of work and eat some food and attempt to be healthy, maybe see some friends, watch YouTube and Netflix  well then … I’m doing something wrong.


What is it that I’m doing wrong? I guess I mean, what could I be doing better, wiser, other? These late night feelings that something is missing, the anxiety over not doing enough or being enough aren’t new feelings. For three and a half years those feelings were clouded over with looming grad school papers and group projects. Then I started seeing someone, and who the hell needs to be doing something creatively when your heart is so bursting with love? That was my other. I didn’t need more.


But now I’ve graduated with a Master degree in Library and Information Science (I AM YOUR MASTER), and that relationship is no longer. So what am I left with? The empty nights where I’m watching YouTube, growing increasingly bored with the content and aching for something more.


More. More. More. And this is where blogging comes in. This is where I ask myself: What did you do with the girl who used to spin stories and love fiction characters and take walks that inspired entire word-created lives?

I’ll tell you now, I don’t know that answer.


In the past month I’ve watched life be sucked away. I’ve attended wakes, looked at bodies whose souls have left them, spend time in Church at a funeral service and cried a whole fucking lot. In this past month I’ve also seen Beauty and the Beast twice, booked plane tickets to Memphis, seen my friends more than usual, and bought an essential oil diffuser. I can’t seem to find my essential oils, though. I also pulled my back, ate tons of chocolate and started doing desk yoga in attempts to feel less stiff. I bought an aloe plant and started re-growing spring onions from the white ends that I cut off when making dinner. Life is in everything around us. It’s in these little details. It’s hard to imagine all this has happened (and so much more. Snow days. 70 degree weather. Many macarons consumed) just in one month. And yet at the same time I feel like March should be just beginning.


It’s all a blur. And if we (I) don’t stop to document and reflect and smell aloe plants and taste lip scrub then it’ll stay a blur. Something we (I) don’t remember for the individuality of moments.

Melanie Kristy · musings

Thing Don’t Happen The Way You Plan

Just after a declaration of my intentions to write every day in March, life happened and, of course it’s now the 17th and I haven’t posted anything since then. I’ve been slightly alive on my Instagram, and otherwise consuming instead of creating. I’ve also been talking a lot about the Perfectly Posh products that I love. I even have a Facebook page for the Posh Products, so please feel free to check it out.

I’m here to tell you that I’m loving Ed Sheeran’s new album, Divide. I can’t stop listening and singing along.

We had an almost blizzard the other day, and I’ve had some time off due to family things.

I’ve been watching the final season of Girls, and Switched At Bitch. I’ve been LOVING This Is Us, and also really enjoying Big Little Lies on HBO (Of course I read the book first and really enjoyed that as well).

The only book I can recommend right now is We Are Okay by Nina LaCour. Everything else I’ve been reading I’m just stuck in the middle of.

My current face mask of choice is I’m Turning Blueberry.

What are you currently loving?

x.

magic

Magic is…

magic.jpg

(credit)

When I was in high school I started reading novels by Francesca Lia Block , and this was the first time I was introduced to the idea of magic in the every day. (This excludes magic by way of Wiccan and other Pagan practices). I consumed all of her novels in a short period of time and find myself wanting more. I started reading so much more because of Weetzie Bat and Echo. I met people who loved her words, and to this day I still have friends with strong ties to Francesca Lia Block.

In and out of my life I’ve stopped looking and stopped believing. Some times the daily grind just stomps out all inclination that magic exists. Sometimes we do that to ourselves.

For 2017 the word I picked to represent my year is MAGIC. So I’d like to start a series of posts about magic, specifically recognizing magic in the every day. I welcome you to join me in the comments or in our own blog.

Do you believe in magic?

Here are a few things I know to be magic:
– Finding kindred spirits and connecting and reconnecting with those friends over the years
– music that can transport you back in time
– winning free leggings (one per month) for a year
– drinking kefir and kombucha – probiotics are magic

Xo
Melanie

melanie kristy · musings · weight loss

State Of The Writer


It’s been a long winter. Technically, it’s still winter for twenty more days and even though it’s supposed to be back in the 30’s this weekend I’m still declaring winter over. That probably means I’ll be grumbly and cranky when I have to wear a winter jacket this weekend (it’s also possible that I’ll be cranky because I’m cold because I won’t be wearing said jacket, who knows!).

I wanted to take a moment to kind of address who I am and where I am and what I’m doing. Vague enough for you, right?

My favorite band has a full blown weekend festival every May, and they do this thing called “State of the Band” where they talk about what they want to do and what their plans are. I’m in the middle of settling into my plans to travel to Tulsa in May for this weekend, so that term is on my mind.

So here are a couple things:

I was seeing someone for almost all of last year. In the summer it got weird/ complicated/ not great, and in September it ended. For months after that I felt awkward and swollen and lost. I don’t handle heartbreak well at all. It tends to shake me up and spit me out into tiny pieces like my heart is made of paper and heartbreak makes me into recycled pulp. I am better now. Stronger. Moving on. I am single and wanting to be single.

There has been other heartbreak recently, but it’s more personal and I’ll leave that out.

Since last April I’ve worked full time at a library, and I’ve had lots of different responsibilities during my time there. I love it a lot. I’ve learned so much and met a lot of great people.

I keep having these moments where I think something to the effect of: I’m not sure what I’m doing with myself or my life. I think about how I feel unfulfilled in aspects of my life, I’m uninspired and unsure. Every time I have these moments, everything comes back to writing. And so that’s why I’m here. I have a goal to write intentionally for all of March, and to post here every single day. I want this to be the kick off to something, even if it’s just the growth of this lovely little neglected blog.

Last summer I started selling Perfectly Posh products. If you don’t already know, I’m a huge fan of bath and body products. Lush Cosmetics is one of my favorite stores. While I still love Lush with all my heart, Posh has wedged its way into my heart and I’ve found a lot of products that I love. I really like Posh’s products and their ethics. I’d love for you to check out their catalog.

In January I signed up for Weight Watchers, for the 110th time. I will post a lot about health and weight in here. I am a very body-positive person, and I struggle with putting the concepts of “weight loss” and “body positivity” together in the same space. The thing is, everyone is different. There’s nothing wrong with my body how it is, and there is nothing wrong with your body. In fact, I’m willing to bet you are beautiful. That being said, I personally am not happy where I am. I haven’t ever actually been happy. I love my body and I want it to be able to move and stay active. I want it to be able to protect me and remain healthy for me, and because of that I’ve joined Weight Watchers again for me. For my body. There’s nothing wrong with me for doing so, and there’s nothing wrong with you for not taking any sort of “diet” path.

I love you all, and I’m hoping to meet more bloggers and readers to please comment if you’re reading this. Comment if you’re blogging.

Spread joy.

x.
Melanie