It’s Sunday today. I’m sitting behind my laptop and typing real words on it for the first time in what feels like forever. Lately I’ve been writing a lot of lists in the notebook / journal I carry around with me. The lists are similar, like words I tell myself to get myself to do things. Write. Breathe. Love. Live. I get tired of myself over and over again. I seem to be on an endless loop of the same thoughts. All of these thoughts include the avoidance of a keyboard and keys, actual real writing, and trying to numb myself to the yearning/ longing/ frustration/ emotion of life.
I have some news for you my dear readers. And I have news for myself. That emotion that I’m numbing myself from? (I mean, failing to numb but trying so hard I’ve definitely developed anxiety about all of the things).
That is life.
Life is the yearning, the longing and the wanting. It’s being content to want more, aching for something else. But what’s more than that is that life is making these things happen. Or, at least, taking steps in a general direction away from this restlessness.
Oh how restless I’ve grown.
So recently I deactivated faceboook. You can still find me on instagram and twitter, though and here. I’ll be here wandering the internet, creating a home for myself in words I’ve been unable to find. I “quit” my other blog, one which you may or may not have been familiar with. I needed a new start. Desperately. So badly that I had stopped writing at all. Nothing seemed worth it. I had allowed myself to believe that I have nothing to say. (And maybe some days I don’t).
So this is a new start, a place where I can write and create and be. And even though in that aspect (since this is the internet and all) I could have done all of those things on my other blog, as an overly active Facebook stalker, etc. I couldn’t. Which is why I’m here today.
Sundays are for selfies and any other thing I decide I want to say on Sundays (And really any other day). Please feel free to have a look around, we’ve only just begun. Share your blogs and your favorites and direct me toward links I must read. I’m ready to emerge again as a person who is doing something with that longing. So here I am.
Love you all,